Closer

Yesterday, I had a day for myself. It was nice.
I went to Starbucks and wrote on my story for about an hour then headed to the theater for a movie.
Yes, I went to the movies by myself. I hear most people don't like to do this, but I found it to be quite relaxing.

I saw 'Closer'
You know, Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts and .... uhmm, can't remember the other guys name...

So what did I think of it? It was interesting. Depressing.
If you're planning on getting married this summer...DON'T see it. It just might make you lose all faith in the institution of marriage.

It confirmed some things I already knew. Such as...

1.) love is the strongest most complicated emotion. Duh.
2.)The word 'love' is thrown around way to much.
3.) Acting on your feelings can leave you lost and alone.

Here are some things I learned (realized)...

1.)The deepest love I've ever felt is the love I have for God.
2.)'Love' takes 3 forms in a marriage. Lust, Comfort & Dependency.

let me explain:
The first form, lust, is the glue that binds. It wears off. Then we settle into a comfortable stage where we learn to live with the WHOLE person, faults and all. If we find they are still the one, we enter into the final stage- dependency. Hence the old woman in the parking lot looking for her husband to help her with groceries.

I found a reacurring theme in this movie...
"How could he let you get away!"

We meet someone and immediately want to know EVERYTHING about them. Once we think we know it all, we get bored and desire another search...stranger. Someone with new mysteries, new thoughts, new territory. We are explorers. Jude Law yells..."Here I am, I am your stranger!"

Keep in mind- people don't stay the same and no matter how predictable you think your spouse is, they can surprise you. I am not the same person I was when I married my guy, over 12 years ago. I've struggled. I've changed. I'm not perfect. I have new strengths. I have my weaknesses. I look for both good and bad in others. Sometimes the bad is easy to see. Sometimes it's the most difficult.

I search myself as well.

So the movie? Perfect title. The only other title I thought could work was 'Strangers'

**************WARNING*************
the following DOES contain comment to the final outcome, close your eyes if you haven't seen it and want to.
*************************************


If you have seen it and didn't really get the ending...there are 2 subtle scenes that explain why Alice (Natalie Portman) does what she does.

The first would be when she first meets (Jude Law) in England. She says... "I've never left anyone that I loved."
The second is when (Jude Law) is leaving her and she says "You can't leave me, I'm the one who leaves!!"

I know, it still doesn't explain why she leaves. It's VERY subtle. I think it's a commitment issue. In the 4 years Natalie and Jude were together, they never married. They are young, not ready for commitment.
Being committed means being able to forgive. When Jude finally is able to commit- he cries "I forgive you!", but Natalie can't forgive herself. She has no self confidence. She can only leave, run away. It's "too late."
This explains why Anna (Julia Roberts) go back to her bou. She is more committed whereas Alice is not. Alice is described as a 'girl' (she is a stripper after all) and Anna is an successful photographer (much more mature).
In the end Alice is sad, walking alone in streets of NY with only the googling eyes of STRANGERS to notice her. Anna is laying in bed with her husband, looking sad, because the innocence is gone.

Follow me?

Is there more to it? Yes, I'm sure there is.
Let me mull it over for a while and maybe I'll update this post when I figure it out.

But these are the ideas that flooded my brain while my wipers struggled to keep my windshield clear.

One more thing- Did you notice?? No in bed sex scenes. Just kissing and Natalie's naked butt.

New thought: Why was Jude Law playing a practical joke on a sex website anyway?? At first I thought he did this as a side job- you know, like those phone sex people. But they made no reference to confirm that. Hmm

Does anyone remember what Alice's euphemism was?? He tells her on the bus and then they repeat it at the end. What was it?? Starts with a d... DISARMING
I must give a thank you to Panda of Pandyland for coming up with it!! clap, clap. Give a bow.

So her EUPHEMISM must be another way of saying that she lowers the defense shields of people she meets. Example of this...she literally takes the glasses off his face on the bus and rearranges his tie. She 'disarms' him. He finds her charming and different (she does have pink hair).