Face Time

Last Wednesday I got a phone call from my mother-in-law, Ginger.

6:26am

"Kaytee's gone. I went in to wake her up for school and found a note on her bed."

I instantly felt like throwing up.

The first thing I thought of were her friends. They will know where she is. But then I realized that I don't have their numbers. So I called my sister and my friend, Devona. I asked Devona...at what point do I call the police?

"Now!"

Multi tasking skills were put to the test. Dress, call police, pray, cry, drive and pray some more.

I hurried down to Sacramento as fast as I could, leaving frantic messages on the phones of family who didn't answer.

I went through her stuff for clues. Devona rushed over and got info out of her kid, Samantha (Kaytee's best friend who goes to Capital Christian)
Over the couple hours we learned that Kaytee left the house at 12:30 with a boy named "Sam" and his friend that could drive. We also learned that Kaytee sent a text to Samantha at 6:15 am, which only said "I think I made a mistake."

Soon, 2 shariffs deputies arrived at Ginger's house. I found out the boys last name and gave all the info (including a description of Kaytee) to the shariff.

I continued to send text messages to Kaytee to let her know the police are looking for her and this boy who took her. She sent back a text that said, "Chill mom. I will come back tonight."

I got mad. Little shit!!! but incredibly relieved that she was not dead.

The deputy called her and left a message. Then he sent her a text. She apparently scared enough to call him back. He was firm with her and got her to tell him where she was. I listened as he told her to be waiting on the curb. "We'll be there in 8 minutes and you better be waiting. If you're not, there's gonna be trouble."

Devona and I followed their patrol car to a dumpy neighbor on the other side of interstate 80.

Tears poured down my face when I caught sight of her.

I waited. I didn't want her to see me yet. Both deputies got out and talked with her. They put her in the back on the patrol car and came over to talk with me.

"We're going to let her sit there and marinate for a minute while we go in and talk to who ever is in that house."

After a couple big knocks on the door, they got out their monster sized flashlight and beat on it with the back end. Finally someone opened the door, but I couldn't see who. The cops were in there for about 20 minutes.

When they came out, they told me that Kaytee had been with 5 "knuckleheads" but it didn't look like any debotchery had been going on and that the boys had never been in trouble before. Kaytee comfirmed to me later that nothing bad happened, but she didn't sleep because she didn't trust anyone there.

They took her out of the car and I got out of mine. I hugged her and told her I loved her. Then I gave her a little push in the back of the neck and whispered, get in the car.

After speaking with the cops a little more, we drove back to Ginger's in silence.

I have much more to write, but my battery is dying. I took emergency leave and dropped my next trip to give her tons of face time. Tomorrow Kaytee will be admitted into a physc center. She wants to go and we both know it will be beneficial.

This is no time to be whimpy, Kathy. (I tell myself).

Sometimes you fall

The other day (St. Patricks Day) I went out for a run. My knee started hurting right away and I decided to take it slow. Half way through, I saw what looked like a little green man trip me. I fell hard in the dirt.

My right side took most of it, but my left knee is the most torn up. It was the hardest fall I've taken so far. I think I heard a voice laughing.

I sat there for a moment and cried. Not so much because it hurt...but because I don't want to have to give up running. It felt like something was trying to make me stop.

I prayed. Please God, don't take it away from me.

Then I noticed someone walking up the trail towards me. I suddenly felt embarrassed to be sitting on the ground crying, so I wiped away my tears and got up. Brushing off the dust, I started walking back home before he could catch up to me. I walked most of the way home, but jogged a little just for the sake of being stubborn.

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The way I am is who I used to be

What changes take place in the minutes and seconds that pass like a raging river through the coursing viens of our lives? Do we feel any different at the end of our suffering? When the concept of time eludes us and the narrowness of space becomes a withering image of a memory, what are we left with? Each splintering decision evokes consequence and the envidable result leaves me to wonder...what if?

What do I think about when my service is complete and those who couldn't resist the lulling rock and occasional bump inflight sink into a deep and somewhat hypnotic sleep? I have choices folks. I could catch up on the latest Hollywood gossip, eat, go to the bathroom, read a book, read a science magazine, write or just think.
I tend to do the last 2 more than anything else. I have many random tidbits that I've written in a trashed up notebook just waiting for a rainy day when they will transform from an ugly catipillar into a beautiful butterfly. And wait they will. Why? Oh, lack of confidence that I try to report as "busy". I think all the time. Thoughts collide with images that create more thoughts and on and on.

The truth is, I'm no different than I was 5 years ago. Write the damn thing Kathy! It's in you and nobody else. To my credit, I have gotten further. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Annie will have an ending. What good is the promise of a sweet strawberry in the dead of winter if the ground is caked in oil?