replace fear with faith

yesterday I got some good news and then bad news all in the span of about 5 minutes.

The good news came first...another flight attendant took my local on the 26th!! That's awesome, now I don't have to drive down to Fresno the day after Christmas just to do 4 flights.

The bad news is that I didn't win SIA. again...
It's the third time I've run for SIA (SkyWest Inflight Assosication). This time I tried to be elected into the scheduling/reserve representative postition. Again, the few (271 out of nearly 2000) flight attendants voted in the most senior. Immediately my heart broke. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't bring my voice up to a normal pitch no matter how hard I tried. I thought about it on my three hour drive to Fresno to start a two day trip. Later that day on my last flight into Missula, Montana...I opened my Bible. I've been using my down time on the plane to study scripture.
The first thing I read was this...

"The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom fro the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

Isn't that cool? Taken in context (which you should always do) it was a very political statement. Isaiah was the one who propheisted the coming of the messiah and that he would be born from a virgin. This message states that the Lord will triump over their oppressors. I believe that when we open our Bibles with sincere desire for help, the Holy Spirit leads us to specific words that speak to us and gives us guidence for our daily lives.

After reading this I imagined the baby Jesus laying in the manger. He left Heaven where he had everything to be born in poverty because I needed him. I need him to bind my broken heart. I need him release me from prison walls. I need him to fight for me. I need him turn my mourning into rejoicing and praise. I need him to give me hope for the future. I need him lift me out of despair. Because of Jesus, I am free.

I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my life making the commitment to attend church every sunday. The girls are happier. My problems don't seem so big and I am thankful.

The other day, Kaytee said she couldn't wait to go to church this Christmas Eve. She has been volunteering every sunday morning in Pier 14, which the sunday school service for grades 1-4. She LOVES those little kids and they love her. She talkes about wanting to be a kindergarden teacher if photography doesn't work out.
This last sunday she had a present for me. It was a toilet paper roll wrapped up with a message inside. I unfolded a red piece of paper that said, "I love you" on it. Lately I've gotten more, I love you's than I hate you's. She took herself off meds about 4 weeks ago. We didn't know because she was spitting them out when we weren't looking. Luckily she is doing great. No cutting and no thoughts of suicide.


Let me end this post with a psalm:

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116: 1-2