My Church

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A bit of historal Kathy fact:

I've been attending church all my life. Catholic church when I was young was all about sitting still for one whole hour so I could get an ice cream afterward. Once on my own I rebelled and stayed as far away from church as possible. Then something amazing happened that I will never forget. I may have written about it before. God saved my life. Litterally, saved my life. By telling me go home another way I avoided being involved in a bicycle vs car accident. I was 24 years old and pregnant with Megan. I started my investigation about this almighty God that so many people seemed to love. I remember going to a Nazarene church and noticing that most people looked like they really wanted to be there. They laughed and sang. This is not how Catholic service goes. I wanted to praise God that way but it felt fake. I didn't really know him yet. How could I sing with that much feeling? How do I get there?
It took time. God worked on me with each little situation. I could compare my journey to the process that happens when your eyes become adjusted to the darkness.
You know how when you first walk into a dark room you can't see anything? But slowly more and more things come into view. Eventually you can see everyting...even people who are entering with that same limited vision of which you once entered with.
It's like that with God.
Little by little I started noticing him. He was and has been doing things all around me. Sometimes it feels like he isn't there, but then something occurs to make me just go "wow" and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God and he is big!
I'm not always eliquent with my words...but you get the idea.

Now I've learned that not all churches are created equal. I've heard people say, i'm not getting fed spiritually at this church. What the crap does that mean? Church is about coming together to worship and learning God's word. All the other stuff is gravy. Do you not know that your own spiritual growth begins with your own effort? You're not a baby! You can feed yourself can't you? God has the best tasting food, but for heavens sake pick up your own fork and put it in your mouth man!!

I wasn't sure I'd like a big church, but there is something amazing about a several hundred people all singing and praising God in the same room. Also my pastor makes me laugh. He makes sense of the Bible and relates to our daily lives. He takes it literally and challenges me to become a devoted follower. I used to doubt that I had the ability to do that, but I don't anymore. It's not that hard. In fact, it's so easy.

one of my favorite songs to sing in church says this...

I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for you
I am free
I am free

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To those of you who have recently stumbled upon my humble blog...WELCOME!!

And to those who have been faithfully following along with me the last 4.5 years, THANK YOU!!

Life is a journey and I suppose this is the trail I leave behind.

Today is Christmas. I feel like I've been focusing so much on the true meaning of it the last month that I just sort of let myself relax and enjoy my family. I am one of the fortunate flight attendants that managed to get the holiday off. I did work a trip that went well into the early morning of the 24th. It was just a two day trip on the jet. We overnighted in Missoula. Did I mention that in the last post? Anyway- there is a story here...

We flew into Denver on the 23rd. No problems. We boarded ontime and took off for Durango, Co. Just as our wheels were down and you could see the runway, we aborted landing and began gaining altitude. In my mind I'm thinking...well, for some reason we couldn't land and I bet we are going to go around and try again. I was wrong. The captain came on the pa and announced we were going back to Denver. We couldn't land in Durango because snow plow equiptment was on the runway. We were not allowed to try again because if for some reason our second attempt failed, we wouldn't have enough gas to make it to our alternate airport, Denver.
My heart sank for everyone on my aircraft. I knew I'd be taking them back to a very stressful situation in Denver. Long lines and certain frustration trying to be booked onto flights that were already oversold with multiple standbys all trying to get home for the holiday.
Many of my passengers had already been inconvienced with earlier cancelled flights and was extremely happy to be on my flight when they boarded. I hated that this happened to them. A young lady sitting in 1B cried the entire way back, while the guy behind her kept blaming United for the error on the ground in Durango. How do you tell this passenger that the people who clear the runways are not employeed by United? And certainly whoever's bad timing it was to plow the runway is either getting fired or repremanded for causing a flight to turn and go back right before Christmas!
So there I was getting bombarded with green call button lights all down the cabin. What do I tell them? I'm sorry, but just telling them to talk to a customer service agent isn't good enough. I didn't sugar coat it. I tried to give hope by saying that you should never leave a flight that you are on standby for until it's gone. You never know. Lots of people misconnect and don't show up. However, spending more than a day in an airport really sucks. I suggested renting a car and driving home. It's a 6 hour drive in good weather. However, the mountain passes are caked with snow. It would be dangerous.
My heart still breaks for them and I hope they all got home safely and quickly.

The next day, we were supposed to leave Missoula at 4pm, but our plane coming in was late. 4.5 hours late! Finally we flew back to Denver. They made us swap planes which made us even later. We landed in Fresno at 1:30am. I just wanted to go home. So I downed 2 cups of coffee and drove home. I walked through my door at 5:15am. OY!!

You might be saying...Well, at least you probably picked up some overtime pay, right?
Wrong. I made a little extra money by being in the air a little longer, but overtime doesn't exist in my company unless they are desperate to cover a trip and offer you time and a half to work on your days off. I never do it. My time at home with my kids is way more valuable.

Seasonal flying sucks for all, but I try to make it better by smiling, staying positive and stuffing my co-workers with homemade Christmas cookies. :-)

Merry Christmas where ever you are and a Hope Filled New Year!!

replace fear with faith

yesterday I got some good news and then bad news all in the span of about 5 minutes.

The good news came first...another flight attendant took my local on the 26th!! That's awesome, now I don't have to drive down to Fresno the day after Christmas just to do 4 flights.

The bad news is that I didn't win SIA. again...
It's the third time I've run for SIA (SkyWest Inflight Assosication). This time I tried to be elected into the scheduling/reserve representative postition. Again, the few (271 out of nearly 2000) flight attendants voted in the most senior. Immediately my heart broke. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't bring my voice up to a normal pitch no matter how hard I tried. I thought about it on my three hour drive to Fresno to start a two day trip. Later that day on my last flight into Missula, Montana...I opened my Bible. I've been using my down time on the plane to study scripture.
The first thing I read was this...

"The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom fro the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

Isn't that cool? Taken in context (which you should always do) it was a very political statement. Isaiah was the one who propheisted the coming of the messiah and that he would be born from a virgin. This message states that the Lord will triump over their oppressors. I believe that when we open our Bibles with sincere desire for help, the Holy Spirit leads us to specific words that speak to us and gives us guidence for our daily lives.

After reading this I imagined the baby Jesus laying in the manger. He left Heaven where he had everything to be born in poverty because I needed him. I need him to bind my broken heart. I need him release me from prison walls. I need him to fight for me. I need him turn my mourning into rejoicing and praise. I need him to give me hope for the future. I need him lift me out of despair. Because of Jesus, I am free.

I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my life making the commitment to attend church every sunday. The girls are happier. My problems don't seem so big and I am thankful.

The other day, Kaytee said she couldn't wait to go to church this Christmas Eve. She has been volunteering every sunday morning in Pier 14, which the sunday school service for grades 1-4. She LOVES those little kids and they love her. She talkes about wanting to be a kindergarden teacher if photography doesn't work out.
This last sunday she had a present for me. It was a toilet paper roll wrapped up with a message inside. I unfolded a red piece of paper that said, "I love you" on it. Lately I've gotten more, I love you's than I hate you's. She took herself off meds about 4 weeks ago. We didn't know because she was spitting them out when we weren't looking. Luckily she is doing great. No cutting and no thoughts of suicide.


Let me end this post with a psalm:

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116: 1-2