Rough Night
The clock shined 1:00am when I got up to turn the heater off. I had been laying there in the dark unable to fall asleep. My stomach was now growling from forgetting to eat, but it was much too late to eat now.
The next thing I know, I'm jumping out of bed to answer the phone. It was 3am and MB was telling me that the hospital had just released him and he didn't know what to do.
I suggested he go to the physc hospital. But he was concerned that he didn't have enough sick time saved up from work and wanted to just come home.
Fine. I was in no mood to argue. I was concerned about his driving home though. The weather here has been rainy and cold. I knew it would be snowing over the pass. He said he was not tired and wanted to come home. Again...fine. I'm not begging or pleading.
So now it's after 10am and he's not home yet. He called and made an apt. at his regular doctor. He said they wanted him to do that.
I'm waking up a little, so I plan on showering off the sadness and taking a drive somewhere. I'm pretty sure we need dog food.
6 Comments:
So, don't take this the wrong way, but you have been so incredibly good at expressing yourself lately. I like the ending line in this post, and I love the title of the post about Reno. Your writing has taken on a very poetic flair. Tragedy can be a great source of inspiration to any writer, but it always begs the question - why must bad things happen in order for me to have so much to say, and such an improved ability to say it?
12:25 PM
yummm, dog food.
Ron
4:55 PM
I'll be thinking of you. May God bless you and keep you.
4:18 AM
Holy shit, a comment from me. Thank you all for being so nice to my wife. She deserves it. Just a couple of updates as she is now on another trip and I'm sure you are all dying to know what is going on. I have been diagnosed as bi-polar. I had been being treated for depression. Nope, wrong diagnosis and wrong meds. I think they helped me to flip out. Today I am supposed to go to a psych hospital to get on a real course of treatment. JD and C, I know you both have expertise in this area. Perhaps you could let me know what I a in for and what to expect. Next, divorce is on hold, thank God. We had a long talk and are going to be seperated but still live together. We don't want the kids lives disrupted anymore. I am setting up the downstairs room as my own and Kathy is buying me an air mattress tomorrow to sleep on. This is the best I can ask for and very generous of her. I am not dong this on purpose. I am sick and we now know what it is. She is willing to see if treatment for bi-polar will work. Please pray that it it does and offer he any advice on what I can do to help myself. Thank you.
6:53 AM
Bipolar Disorder....I am relieved that you have a true/correct diagnosis now. Your experience with being treated for depression and 'popping' manic as a result is highly common. Typically the depression surfaces first however for a person with bipolar disorder, anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer added in will make the person almost instantly manic. It happened with my ex-husband. He was given anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer, instantly went manic and ended up leaving his current wife, hitch hiking to Mexico all the while thinking he could earn money on the streets playing guitar. It sounds bizarre, but mania can do that to a person. When he ran out of meds, the depression kicked in and he called her for a plane ticket home. Anyways, some things that are essential for people with bipolar are: stay away from alcohol, stay on your meds---period, no questions asked, routine counseling is important as well. It is genetically passed, so your children could end up having it as well---mine do. I have a whole list of other things which I would love to share if you want to know at some point. Also, an awesome bipolar website is: http://www.mcmanweb.com/
It is written and maintained by a very educated/experienced man with bipolar disorder and has provided me with the best information.
This is a manageable disorder, but only with consistancy, vigilance and dedication. Those who think they can go off their meds or don't need counseling end up in a world of hurt---literally.
God Bless-----C
9:59 AM
Thanks for the advice and concern C. You and JD are wonderful family. I have tried to call both your home and JD's cell today but got no answer. Feel free to call (please). I am alone today as Kathy is in New Mexico and the kids are in school. I just got off the phone with my behavioral health services and they are still trying to find me some to see today. Hell, I even called Rose this morning to have family to talk to. I have never reached out this much. It is good to know I really am sick and not just an ass!! Good to know there is hope, because they hasn't been much lately. Have JD call too if he wants to. Love ya...
10:15 AM
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