When it hasn't been your day, week or month or even your year

Hi friends,

I apologize for the delay. Life got worse. Yes, I know....worse?

I feel incredibly sorry for MB. But it's hard to feel THAT sorry for someone who purposefully ruins his life. I know you're reading this MB, but you know you must face the consequences for your actions. I don't mean to embarrass you by airing out all this info- but it helps me to share my struggles as well as my joys.

The school had to call the sheriff this time. He doesn't remember doing it, but he left 2 threatening messages on Kaytee's phone while I was at the coast with Megan's 5th grade camp last week. The felony charge against him will probably get reduced to a lesser charge because nobody wants Kaytee to have to stand in court and testify against her father. Besides, she erased the message.

I know you are all worried about me. Don't be. I am a strong girl and can take care of this. I have my lawyer working on a restraining order. He says he is sorry and that he wants to get his life back in order. If you really want to do that, then do it! Leave us alone.

I want him to stop drinking. I want him to get a job. I want him to care about himself and someday be able to forgive himself for the pain he has caused his family. We can forgive you MB, but you must control your anger.

The things I want, I pray for everyday. I know I can't control anything, but my own emotions. I will NOT be bitter or hateful. I will NOT be stupid. I know this could get even worse. I don't want anyone to get hurt...including myself. If I really am going to die before I'm forty, will it be at the hand of my own husband? I must protect myself and our children.

I'm not scared. I'm not mad. I don't want to be foolish.

OTHER THINGS THAT SUCK...

*The house is not selling.
*I'm almost broke.
*My car took $1200.00 last week to fix. Vacuum seal leak in the upper and lower intake valve along with new front brakes. A rental car for 1 week took it over the one thousand mark. Thank God for credit cards!
*I finally caved in and agreed to let Kaytee go live with my sister in Oregon. (I cried all morning).

THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK...

*I still LOVE my job. I've added more jokes and everyone tells me how much they enjoyed the flight when they deplane. It truely makes me happy to fly.
*Me and the girls have medical insurance now.
*The guy I'm seeing has not hit the "bail out" button yet. With all the crap that MB has put him through, I can't believe he came back! He must be foolish too.
*I wrote 2 pages on my book the other day and my next article is coming out next month. The president and vp of SIA confrence called me to ask me if they could hand out copies of my first article to every new hire flight attendant so they can put it in their manual! That is very cool and a huge compliment to my writing.
*I have had the joy of spending time with my friends the last 2 months. I've seen Savanna 3 times! She picked me up in Boise the other day and we drove past Nampa to meet up with Andrea. Andrea was also in our new hire training class and got based in Chicago. We hadn't seen her since last year. It was nice to see her again.
*I didn't have to change my tire when I picked up an exacto knife blade and it went flat. It just so happened that a male parent was meeting me to pick up his daughter and he put my spare on for me. The next day I took it back to where I bought the tire. They were able to fix it for free. These are NOT coincidences folks.
*I always have lots of help all around me. Friends, family and I know all of you are out there praying for me too.
*I will forever declare God's Grace.

God is good! All the time...GOD IS GOOD!

You must be able to see Him in the bad events as well as the good. I actually see Him clearer when life sucks.

I've seen Him a lot this year.

He tells me things will get better. He just doesn't tell me when.

**Again- I apologize for not letting you leave a comment, but I think you can send me an email.