An old forgotten thought

Here is a piece of an old post I wrote back in May of '06. Funny how some feelings don't change...

"I thought about how badly I wanted to fly. So many times I've wished I could run so fast that my feet would leave the ground. Fear stops me sometimes. No, I should say it slows me down. It's nothing but drag. Shake it Kathy...and let your imagination take you to the places you've created in the small narrow cracks of your dreams.
They are there...waiting for you to visit. Yes, I talk to myself. Call me crazy if you wish, but crazy lives on the brink of genius."

Hives? are you serious?

So yesterday Megan and I boarded our Southwest flight from San Diego to Sacramento. It was 5pm. We had a wonderful time at the Zoo and Sea World (pictures to come).

Before the plane left the ground I started scratching. First my armpits...then my torso. Soon it was my legs and my neck. I have never broken out with hives before, but that's exactly what was happening to me.

When we got home, I took a shower...foolishly thinking I could wash off the itch while my entire body remained covered in welts and splotches.

Oh, that's attractive.

Admitting defeat, I took an allergy pill and went to bed.

In the morning I found no relief so I called the doctor. Within 2 hours I was in the office scratching and coughing while a new symptom was fighting for my attention...a sore neck.

I also had a fever. Diagnosis? A virus for the cold symtoms (duh) and hives from something I came into contact with that I am very allergic to. (duh) Of course it would be way to difficult to figure out what that is. Probably something at Sea World. Of course... why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, I did.

Why do we go to the doctor? It's like we are mostly certain of what is wrong with us, but just in case...

However, he gave me an allergy pill that worked so much better than my over-the-counter...make you feel like your head isn't attached to your body...allergy medicine. So that's good. He perscribed me a steriod too...just in case the super-charged, but extremely tiny miricle pill didn't do the trick. Thankfully, I won't need it. I don't like taking any drugs if I don't absolutely have to. Makes you wonder what is in that stuff they hand over for free, doesn't it?

Well, good night folks. Another day, another adventure. I love life...including the ups and downs, bumps and bruises.

BTW- my birthday is in 2 days. February 22nd. I will be 37. Holy crap.

And the drum beat goes like this...

I wanted hours? I got hours!!

I worked 20 minutes shy of 60 flight hours so far this month. Folks, that a lot for my job. I have also been doing a lot of driving.
Stress has been high level, despite my efforts to vear away from it...

Not enough rest has worn me down. I cough, I sneeze, I blow my nose then I cough some more.

Time for a break?

Megan has the week off of school. I asked her where she'd like to go. "The world's your limit. (and my bank account...) So Megan, where to?

San Diego.

Ok. you got it. San Diego Zoo and maybe Sea World. I found a hotel and providing I can pick up the standby ticket that I ordered last minute, we'll fly down there tomorrow morning on Southwest.

Anything else?

For daddy to get better.

Yeah, I'd like that too. I've been worried about MB. Last week he overdosed on perscription blood pressure medication and ended up spending the entire week strapped to a bed in intensive care. I really thought he was going to die and I'd never get to speak with him again. It is so hard to watch someone do this to themselves when there isn't a darn thing you can do to stop it. At this point any attempt I make to talk with him would set him back. Therefore I haven't tried.

Today his parents took him to a halfway house. I pray for him and hope he stays there as long as possible instead of convincing himself he's all better and checks out in a week. He's been sick a long time. Severely depressed.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

That's the version I know, but here's the original...

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

What's happening now...

Hi everyone!

I am in Calgary. It's my first overnight being based back in Fresno. I drove down yesterday and hung out with Savanna since she started a trip this morning too.
We went out for dinner (Claim Jumper) and watched a movie in the bedroom since the other roomates were already watching something in the living room. We put in "Hitch". I love that movie!

As for my health...I went to that obygn apt thinking I was going to have a follow up pap test. Nope. Instead my new doctor (because my other one retired) decided it would be a waste of time. Almost an hour later, I was having a prodcedure done. Colopsy. No, not the colon! Basically, he looked at the canal of my cervic through a microscope after applying a vinger solution on it so that the bad cells will show up. It hurt. Of course the bad cells made their appearance and he took a biopsy of them. Now what? I go back on the 15th for another procedure...cyrotherapy. Yep, they are going to freeze those cells now. I sure hope this takes care of it. Third times a charm.

Don't even ask how the divorce is going. Uh, I am expecting it to be final by my birthday. Hopefully. I just want to get on with life so I can have all this fighting behind us. The girls need it to be done too. MB is angry with me right now over money and is wanting to continue fighting. His health is declining and I have to admit that I'm concerned. I know there is only 1 thing I can do...pray. Please Lord, help Michael get well and be happy without me. Bring people into his life that can help. Thank you.