The night I lost my halo.
I woke up Dec. 31st at home. After sleeping for a while, I cleaned house and treated myself to a nice little run.
While I was out MB listened to the messages on my phone. He has come to the conclusion that I am cheating on him. While it is true that I have taken a fondness to a certain person at work and we do talk a lot, MB's imagination has gone into overdrive. He has threatened suicide (knife in hand while sitting on the roof) and I have been called all kinds of things throughout the last week. Although I do understand his pain, I will not let it break me. I am NOT worthless among other things.
I am, however, human. Finally I have lost the halo that only existed in his vision of me.
The weight of it I could no longer carry.
Folks, I will take a break from this blog. I might even quit it altogether. First some changes will be made. After much consideration, anonymous comments will no longer be allowed. If this doesn't fix things, I will pull all ability to comment.
I want this divorce to be civil, but it doesn't look good at the moment. MB's emotions all over the place and he changes his mind in the same breath.
I'm not perfect. I'm a sinner. Sinners need God. God, I need you.
posted by Kathy at 2:58 PM
8 Comments:
Once again, I am so sorry you both are going through these rough times. I'll be thinking of you. I wish I could do something more useful.
4:53 PM
Kat---above all else---you are absolutely NOT worthless. You are human. You are a mother. You are a flight attendant. You are a beloved daughter and sister...the list of wonderful things that embody who you are could go on and on. Most importantly, you are a child of God and as you and I know---God doesn't make junk. Unfortunately people are fallible--all of us--fallible beings. You head is obviously in the right place which is awesome. Stay level-headed. Keep on being a great mom. Keep praying and leaning on HIM. Do whatever you have to do with the blog in order to be OK. I know how much writing means to you, so I hope it doesn't mean completely quitting the blog, but take good care of yourself either way. Love you---C
4:54 PM
Kathy - I can't say it better than digiduke already did. I just want to tell you one thing. Reading your blog over the many months has meant a lot to me. I enjoyed the home improvement phase, the running phase, and I was absolutely thrilled when you reinvigorated your career. You accomplished so much, and succeed where so many did not.
I also know you to be a wonderful wife (yes, wife) and mother. You'll come through all of this. You'll end up exactly where you're meant to be.
Keep in touch.
9:11 PM
Hey Kathy,
I know you're going through some tough times right now (both you and MB are) but I think I mirror most of what your bro and Duf have to say.
While a handful of us are definitely strangers our here in 'cyberland', you've become something more than just a fellow blogger living somewhere in CA. I think of you as a friend, a genuine and original person and a fellow writer.
Things will work out the way they're meant to, but somewhat selfishly, I do hope you'll keep blogging. I think you've inspired a lot of us and we would definitely miss your unique voice on the internet.
A suggestion? Maybe change your blogger address and send it out to the people you still want to maintain contact with. If it means not sharing it with MB (sorry!) so that he's not engaging in online fights, then so be it.
Sounds like it's time to move on...for both of you.
Best of luck. You're in my thoughts.
9:20 PM
I too would miss your voice if you stopped blogging, Kathy. I too find you inspirational. You keep plugging no matter how hard it gets, you keep getting up no matter how many times you fall -- I think people like you are the salt of the earth.
6:58 AM
Ahhh, Thanks guys!!
And DJS...remember how this all started? Your crappy haikus site. My how things have changed. I guess you just never know.
You know what? I really need to come out to Minnesota for a visit, don't I?
*Okay- I just have to share this...my word verification is "boobf"
hehehe
7:45 PM
you never lost your halo...
you are still a very loving mom, blessed with two wonderful children, a budding career in the airline industry...
no, the halo is still on your head. it is a beacon for others to follow in your footsteps.
i apologize for any problems i may have caused with my previous posts. do take care.
theotheranonymous
2:05 PM
to the other anonymous...
You're okay IMB. Post here anytime. It's a free site.
10:05 PM
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