Flow- We all hate her

My SIA Article...enjoy.

FLOW- we all hate her.
I was busy crossing seat belts and picking up trash, when my captain emerges from the cockpit and announces, “We have flow.”
“Who is flow?” I asked.
A wide smiles spreads across his face and I was left to wonder…what did I say?
“No, it’s not a person…. Flow is when they slow down traffic because of weather.”
“Oh…” I felt like such a ditz. Later I learned to love a guy named RON.
Did they mention these terms in training? I wondered. You know, come to think of it…there was a LOT of things they didn’t tell us. For instance, getting “ready to push” does not mean a passenger is about to deliver a baby and we certainly have nothing to worry about when our captain tells us that we are having “ a heavy flow day”.
I’ve been online now for 6 months and I’ve got to say…it’s nothing like what I thought it would be. It’s better! I absolutely LOVE my job. My co-workers are funny, my passengers keep the day interesting and I think I was made for the spotlight. Speaking of spotlight, how about those “show times”? I get a giggle in my throat every time I picture it. All a crewmember has to do is say “it’s show time!” and the image of about 10 or so flight attendants come bouncing down the terminal, kicking their legs up in a dramatic chorus line with trays of coffee and soda balancing on their heads!
There is enough crazy lingo jargon in this business to keep me laughing for years. I have already banked enough memories to last me a while. Still, I want more…always more.
One day, in the heat of July…a bouncy voice came singing over the PA while we were turning the aircraft. I laughed as I listened to my captain belt out “The 8 days of SkyWest.” If you are not familiar with this song…please, let me inform you. It’s set to the tune, the twelve days of Christmas, and it goes…On the last day of my trip SkyWest gave to me- 8 legs of flying, 7 rampers hiding, 6 um’s crying….5 misconnects…4 lost bags, 3 wheelchairs, 2 aircraft swaps…and a deferred APU!
It was hilarious! However, I had to cut him short when we realized that customer service was flexing their power to “auto board”. Luckily it was a young girl UM who thought the captain was funny.
The ability to laugh at stressful circumstances, I believe, is the secret to this job. Can you find the humor in an old man yelling, “I’m hungry for kisses!” at you? I sure can. A light heart will certainly help. Understanding and sympathy work wonders. Smiles are the best and brownies make a great impression when meeting your crew.
Brownies? Yes, brownies. I love them. I haven’t met a crew that doesn’t. I try to make them every time I fly.
However, that can be tough on reserve. On reserve, you can get re-flowed (not to be confused with the flow we all know and hate. This is her sister and she can be just as mean).
Often we must “deadhead” which isn’t so bad…being the only time a crewmember gets paid to sleep, it’s a very fitting term. Although I have learned from several upset crewmembers that there is a difference between “must ride” and “positive spaced” and it’s come to my attention that the crew aren’t the only ones who need “support”.
But I must add to those comments that crew support is a very difficult job. Just think if you were forced to sit in a room on the phone all day and to listen to us complain call after call. Where’s the CRM?
You have to give a SkyWester credit for being a breed of improvisers. I once saw a flight attendant who ingeniously used a white squishy earplug to take the place of a damn it. What’s a “damn it”? That’s what I call those backings to the wing pins. I call them that because if you’re like me, you try to put them on and instead drop them which causes something very unprofessional to come shooting from your mouth. Oops.
As flight crew (and humans) we sometimes do things that aren’t so professional. But a well placed “Crap, it’s cold!” can be funny.
On one particularly long flight I had a captain call me on the intercom and ask me, “can you come up here…I need to take the walk of shame.” I was puzzled.
After a moment of silence, he clarified, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Oh! Now I get it.
Standing in the cockpit inflight for the first time, was an incredible rush. I thought how cool is this? Honestly, how many people get a view like this? Wow.
Let’s face it…at some point we’ve all looked to the stars with complete amazement and wondered, how can I get closer?
We can start by being team players. One of the things I love about this job is the sense of being a family. We all work together to get the job done. We are one team no matter what department you represent. The plane doesn’t get very far without the fuel. Each part is important. Make someone’s day and send him a RAVE.
Are you “living the dream?” These are “good times” baby. Remember that you’re getting paid to have your head in the clouds and who wouldn’t like a job that requires you to carry liquor money? Oh yeah, I’m going with the flow!
Slam-click.