Hello and Happy Day!

Hello folks!

Wondering about me?

I'm in Medford right now visiting my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew & mother. Katie and I drove up yesterday with her bed, dresser and clothes. We don't know yet if she will be allowed to live here, but at least she can visit for the summer.

Last Thursday the 21st was difficult day for me. I met with the court mediator and MB. I knew I would be talking about the girls and custody. Mostly, I was concerned about how the court would feel about Katie wanting to go live in Oregon with my sister. However, I wasn't prepared for the severe word lashing I would recieve from the mediator as a result of that arrangement. Not to mention that having MB sitting right there turned my emotional water faucet on and wouldn't you know it...the tissue box was empty!

The questions the mediator asked me right off the bat were badgering. He would ask me a question and then another before I could even get the first answer out. He aimed them mostly at my relationship with Katie. Well, if anybody knows us, you would know that I've had a difficult time getting her to listen to me. She has a stubborn, clear mind of her own. However, I would NOT say that Katie and I have a disfunctional mother/daughter relationship. We disagree over dumb little things but we love each other fiercely.
Now combine that with my extreme dislike for counslers and you get the wrong picture....that I would rather send my daughter away than to go through counsling. Also that it would be more convient for me to not have her around.

I was in shock and could barely speak to save my life. This is not how the situation is. Katie has been begging me for months to live with my sis. I've been resistant to the idea. It hurts me a great deal to think I can't take care of her. But finally I realized that this is the best thing for HER. My sister and her husband are great parents. They have a bedroom for her. They love her as much as me. My mom and my dad are here. The high school she would attend is amazing. My niece is her best friend. Here she can be normal...a crazy teenager.

However, it would mean breaking up the girls. That's how the court sees it. But what they don't get is that in reality, this is not seperating a family...rather, we are expanding our family. Megan and I would get to see everyone much more often.

My family has always been close. We help each other when the shit hits the fan. (excuse my language please). This is my family helping me when I need it most. This is what families do for each other. Me and my sister have a thing or two to teach Katie and Megan about what it means to be a sister.

After I blew it with mediator on Thursday, it was the girls turn yesterday (Friday). Luckily they were more prepared than I was and answered his questions with a possitive attitude. Later next week I should recieve a copy of the mediators recommandations for the judge. A hearing is set for July 5th. I expect that will be the day we will know if Katie will be allowed to live here in Medford or not.

Either way- Katie will know that I fought for her. I will do my best to allow her the freedom to make her own choice. That's all we are asking for. The freedom to choose.

Jobs & Dreams Article

Well it's out. This is my latest article that was recently published in our SIA Flyer. Enjoy.


Jobs & Dreams

How many times have you been asked, Why did you want to become a flight attendant? I’ve probably been asked that about a hundred times and each time I have the same reaction, but never the same answer. I give a heavy sigh and roll my eyes up toward the sky as if the answer will somehow magically appear on the ceiling.

Why is that such a daunting question? Perhaps it’s because I have more than one answer and I need that awkward moment to decide which one to say. Or perhaps the question itself is to blame. Whoever asks it runs the risk of getting a Sunday school answer. I’m a people person! Or my personal favorite, It’s always been my dream!

Has it always been “your dream”? Were you one of those kids who LOVED flying and wondered what the view looked like from up front? I wasn’t. In fact, I never even stepped foot on an airplane until I was 22 years old and I hated it! It scared me to death. Therefore one of my many answers to that cliché question is to get over a fear of flying. It worked. I’m no longer afraid to fly.

Might I suggest a different question…How about, Are you happy being a flight attendant?
Happiness is a tricky thing. If you’re like me, it can be a difficult thing to hold onto. My answer would still be a strong YES, without hesitation or the awkward silence that follows it. Why? Because I choose it, that’s why. I firmly believe that happiness is a choice you make daily. Even when you feel stuck in a situation with no foreseeable solution, there always is one…somewhere.

One day I was sitting in the SFO crew lounge on a break hogging the computer for no good reason at all when another FA angrily stomped in and started voicing his frustration with a recent group of passengers.
Now, I understand how bad it can get out there. Sometimes you are just so tired and some dummy is walking all over your last nerve. Instead of asking him…What can I get you to drink? You’d rather throw a water bottle down the isle and yell out GO LONG!

As much as I wanted to agree and add my own horror stories to the conversation, I refrained and decided to listen. After he vented I simply said, I’m sorry your having such a bad day. At least you can start fresh with a new crowd. Try to forget about those jerks and just have a good time. He smiled. I don’t know if what I said helped or hindered, but at least I felt better about holding back my own temptation to people bash.

We don’t have to focus on the negative parts of life. There are jobs and there are dreams. If you make the choice they can be one in the same. Your imagination is your only limit. What else are you? A lawyer? A dentist? A writer? A singer? An actress? A FAM? Yes, a FAM! You can do anything. The only thing you can’t do is everything.

We rob ourselves of dreams and joy everyday. I am guilty of it too. At one time you wanted to be a flight attendant. If that happiness is missing, get it back! It’s sitting right there where you left it.
I am encouraged greatly by all the people I meet on the plane. They have lifted my spirits on more than one occasion. I am grateful for the funny, polite and inspiring ones.
Anyone can blur the line that separates what comes between a job and a dream. Some of my favorite things to say are:

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
Be every color that you are.
Life is a wrinkled mess, be the iron.
Hope has wings.
And my favorite,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well with my soul.

Happiness is a choice. It takes daily determination. It requires confidence. Confidence breeds dedication. Dedication empowers a safe work environment. Getting folks from point A to point B safely and comfortably is our job and my dream.

Oh, BTW

Looks like I'll be going through another round of cervical scraping...

My pap smear test l had last week, came back with abnormal cells. Here we go again...

The first of hurdles

Sometimes life is easy. Sometimes you wish it were easy and sometimes you wonder...what is easy?

You must forgive me...I didn't realize (until I reread it) that my last post was a bit misleading. Yes, I did go to court, but no it wasn't to decide my ultimate fate for custody. That judgement is yet to come. This one was about the domestic violence restraining order.

Until Wednesday, my restraining order was tempory. I needed to have a judge order a permanent one. I found out Tuesday night that a permanent order is set for 3 years, but I can always change/drop it later if I want to. MB should have been there (it would have looked better for his case), but he wasn't.

Let me tell you, court is a whole nother world! I haven't felt that small since I shoved the tailpipe up my parents car in a joy riding accident in high school and I had to go with them to pick it up. My lawyer thought it would be an open and shut thing, but I did end up having to testify. I get a horrible feeling that this is the begining of a long drawn out expensive nightmare.

So the judge granted the permanent restraining order and said MB will have to take a drug/alcohol evaluation. The judge took his time to review the case and shook his head saying that he believed that the risk to the children was to great and MB will not be allowed visitation until he can resolve his issues with dependancy. He asked me questions about the type of knife MB had and how the girls feel. I think the question was worded like this, Do the children want to see their father?" I wasn't sure how to answer this question, so I said, "I told the court that MB has been a good father up until the last year." Later when asked about his drinking I added that he seems to be getting more violent with each drinking binge. He asked me straight out, "Do you believe [MB] is an alcoholic?" Under oath, I answered, "Yes."

Mediation is set for June 21st and then we go back to a judge on July 5th. I think (but not sure) if that is to decide custody and visitation...if any.

*MB- I'm still very sorry that it had to be this way. Please get well. Your kids don't hate you. I know this will be a rough father's day for you. Perhaps next year will be better.

Where the stress plays out

I am going to court this Wednesday morning.

I guess I've been pretty worried, because last night I had a second dream about it. I don't know what to expect. My lawyer hasn't called me about it yet. Just as well...I already have an outstanding balance that I owe him. The house market is terrible! I suppose I will just send him money whenever I can.

My dream last night was interesting...Every passenger that I've ever had showed up to show their support so that the judge would not tell me that I need to find another job. I remember feeling very special that so many people cared about me.

I'm still concerned that I will not get full custody and that I might be forced into the position of choosing between my kids and my job.

Speaking of my job...I worked a tough day the other day. 5 beverage flights on the jet. That's tough. My second flight was a memorable one. It was the first time I had to remove a passenger. In the words of the other passengers, she was "hammered".

Luckily, I kept my cool and handled the situation EXACTLY the way I was trained. She was cooperative, but had no clue as to what was going on. When I told her that she would be escorted off the aircraft, she asked why I would take her off the plane while we were in the air. Yes...she actually believed we were already inflight! I explained 3 times...no maam, we haven't left the ground yet.

One very cool thing about that tough day was that I recieved applause on all 5 flights! On that drunk passenger flight, they even clapped for me twice! Man, I love this job!!

oops- gotta go...the locksmith guy is here. Yes, I did it again. I locked my keys in the car. Good thing I have my insurance company on speed dial. I have roadside assistance, so thankfully this doesn't cost me anything. whew!

Okay- I'm back. That was pretty easy. I didn't have to pay a dime and it didn't effect my day to much. I had a chance to work today, but I choose to keep my promise to Megan and take her out to see Shrek 3. Tomorrow we are going to our local water park. I bought season passes earlier this year. Kaytee is not in town. She left for Washington D.C. yesterday morning. She has been good about calling me, and it seems that she's having a good time and learning a lot. YES!!!

take care my friends.

Resume Comments!

Yes, folks...comments are back!

I have enabled the ability to read and approve comments before they appear on the blog. Besides, MB is not allowed (by court order) to have any direct OR indirect communication with me. I assume that includes this blog.

Now for other interesting facts of life...

My doctor's apt. went okay. I'm picking up a perscription soon. Don't worry- I'll be fine.

What else? Let's see...

I was in Missoula, Montana last week and ran up to the big "M" that sits above the university. And OH! I had the funnest flight of all time the other day. Almost all my flights are fun, but this one was a kick. I spent so much time talking and laughing with the passengers that I almost didn't get my kitchen cleaned up before landing. It was kind of a long time too. One of those flights that normally would have had me writing some jumpseat poetry to pass the time. I'm not into those gossipy magazines.
Flying on the delta side we have 3 types of snacks to offer. I decided to include in my announcement that each one has a color..."For your snack today you do have a choice of a apple cinnimon oatmeal cookie, it does come in a GREEN package or a biscoff cookie that tastes like crunchy gingerbread, it comes in a WHITE package or the cheese crackers that come in an ORANGE package...I like to color code things, it makes it more fun so please just let me know your favorite color so that I will know if you've been paying attention."
I have found that most grown ups like telling me the color. They giggle and it makes them feel like a kid for 2 seconds. Some feel like they are being tested and so I pass them with flying colors! Get it....FLYING...COLORS!! I know- bad joke.

I have written a bit more of my story (Annie). I knocked out almost 4 pages the other day. Not to shabby all things considering.

This morning as I was driving the girls to school, I pondered over why dark colors collect and store heat better than light colors. I wonder if color is nothing more than different mixtures of specific gases? I should investigate it.

In other news...

Yesterday was busy for travelers.

My dad & I should know! I requested to end my trip early so I could go to the doctor today. I was released in Salt Lake and had to figure out my own way home.

Everything was full!!!

I racked my brain and came up with a plan to buy an ID 90 and fly Southwest. An ID 90 is a reduced employee fare. I paid 10% and was put on the stand by list. I barely made it on both flights. Southwest doesn't fly direct SLC to SMF. I had to connect in Las Vegas (aka...lost wages).

Meanwhile, my dad's day was going great until he got stuck in Washington-Dullas. He had to spend the night there and now I'm hoping he made it into Portland, Maine this morning.

Oops, time for my appointment!!

Wedding Anniversary

15 years today.

Divorce will be final soon.

I'll try to get through the day without crying.

Tired. Can I just sleep now?

No Kathy! You can't sleep.

Katie graduates 8th grade next week. I'm working 10 days in a row (calander days) with one day off (her graduation) then more work. Katie then goes to Washington DC while I work. It's a ton of flying and not enough rest, but I seriously need the money! I have a stand up tonight. That means I go to work late and get off early the next day. Not enough sleep, but pays well. I just ended a 4 day trip yesterday and I will start another on Monday. OY!

I'm tired.